This happened to me…in the 90’s. It was incredibly damaging. Then I saw a PBS documentary in the early 2000s about the tsunami of psychiatric drug prescriptions for children and a light popped on. Fast forward to my first “IRL” experiences with teen girls identifying as boys and receiving “treatment” that seemed medieval in its brutality and lack of logic, and the connection between the schema at play were instantly obvious to me. I have literally been waiting since about 2014 for someone to write this book and it’s no coincidence that your last book was about ROGD! Two aspects of the same disturbing trend in our society of handing the reins to kids and throwing out everything previously known about healthy psychological development.
Abigail, audiobooks recorded by authors are often my favorite, although I'm sure it's an immense amount of work, especially for someone without a broadcast or voice acting background.
Well... one exception: Stephen King should not do his own audio books.
Years ago I checked out an audiobook for Charlotte's Web from the library. The opening was "This is a tale of the barn. I wrote it for children and to amuse myself. Now I'll read it to you." E.B. White recorded the book himself, and it was marvelous.
Congratulations on getting your second book published, and for thereby thumbing your nose at all the members of the ruling class who tried to declare you irredeemable the first time around.
I will also say after pre ordering the book and reading the blurb. Sometimes teens are in therapy with me for no discernible reason but to reduce the parents anxiety. Usually mom stressing out that shes missing something important. When that happens I make zero effort to schedule follow-up appointments. Constantly tell them what a good kid they have, and basically just talk to the teen about their hobbies for an hour. I don't refuse to schedule because if everyone is so insistent there is a big problem I have to accept the possibility that I might just be missing it thus far.
When adults do this I take a similar approach. I tell them that I think they are doing well, listen to their concerns, and start trying to decrease treatment frequency. If people are insistent they need help I don't push them out the door, but then therapy becomes helping them see that they don't need therapy if that makes sense.
Coming at people hard with cognitive therapy who don’t need it is damaging.
It sounds like the parents should be scheduling therapy for themselves & leave the kids alone. But I have an even better idea - how about moms/dads talk to the kids themselves? I would always ask my kids everyday how school was, what’d you do at recess, do you have homework - what is it, etc. Some are more forthcoming than others about their day to day but they get used to your interest and you learn their moods & when things are going good or bad...basically you know what’s going on in their lives. Also, don’t let your kids spend 90% of their time with other kids even if that’s what they want. If you want to have a relationship with them & raise them with your morals & values then they have to be around you & family. You’re the parent - you determine their upbringing. Get advice, do research - but you should be the expert on your child.
I'm not a therapist but I am a life coach and had a recent client say she was ready to stop sessions because, "I feel a little like Dorothy realizing I had the power all along." I think this should always be the goal--to help the client recognize the answer isn't "out there" but to encourage that when resourcing oneself, ideally you'll find supports that strengthen your trust in yourself and your capacity to navigate even these wild and destabilizing times we live in. We've been conditioned to "outsource" our decision-making to the "experts" and I believe this is especially insidious when it comes to parenting because of what it communicates to our children. I totally see how we got here, and have only compassion for parents who feel ill equipped to deal with the problems of today's adolescence. Parents are also products of this messaging that we're all at least a little bit broken.
LOVE this. I will read AND listen to your important next book. As a therapist myself, I can say that my profession seriously needs to be challenged these days.
I am so excited to read your new book. After experiencing the loss of a beloved therapist due to differing opinions on “gender ideology” and the medicalization of children’s distress, I began to understand that as institutions we once trusted fall to various ideologies, it is imperative we learn to trust ourselves while developing skills and inner wisdom. I recently read Emerson’s essay, Self Reliance, and found it very inspiring for our current times as we move away from the “specialist” toward a more grounded and wholistic approach toward solving life’s challenges.
This happened to me…in the 90’s. It was incredibly damaging. Then I saw a PBS documentary in the early 2000s about the tsunami of psychiatric drug prescriptions for children and a light popped on. Fast forward to my first “IRL” experiences with teen girls identifying as boys and receiving “treatment” that seemed medieval in its brutality and lack of logic, and the connection between the schema at play were instantly obvious to me. I have literally been waiting since about 2014 for someone to write this book and it’s no coincidence that your last book was about ROGD! Two aspects of the same disturbing trend in our society of handing the reins to kids and throwing out everything previously known about healthy psychological development.
Thank you so much for this comment. I deeply appreciate it. xo
#metoo 😆
Abigail, audiobooks recorded by authors are often my favorite, although I'm sure it's an immense amount of work, especially for someone without a broadcast or voice acting background.
Well... one exception: Stephen King should not do his own audio books.
Years ago I checked out an audiobook for Charlotte's Web from the library. The opening was "This is a tale of the barn. I wrote it for children and to amuse myself. Now I'll read it to you." E.B. White recorded the book himself, and it was marvelous.
Congratulations on getting your second book published, and for thereby thumbing your nose at all the members of the ruling class who tried to declare you irredeemable the first time around.
Oh I can’t wait. I’m therapist and I have an appointment starting soon but I need to Pre order this book.
Is it bad that books about other therapists being horrible is like page six for me? Did I mention I’m male? Gossip can be manly okay quit judging me.
I will also say after pre ordering the book and reading the blurb. Sometimes teens are in therapy with me for no discernible reason but to reduce the parents anxiety. Usually mom stressing out that shes missing something important. When that happens I make zero effort to schedule follow-up appointments. Constantly tell them what a good kid they have, and basically just talk to the teen about their hobbies for an hour. I don't refuse to schedule because if everyone is so insistent there is a big problem I have to accept the possibility that I might just be missing it thus far.
When adults do this I take a similar approach. I tell them that I think they are doing well, listen to their concerns, and start trying to decrease treatment frequency. If people are insistent they need help I don't push them out the door, but then therapy becomes helping them see that they don't need therapy if that makes sense.
Coming at people hard with cognitive therapy who don’t need it is damaging.
It sounds like the parents should be scheduling therapy for themselves & leave the kids alone. But I have an even better idea - how about moms/dads talk to the kids themselves? I would always ask my kids everyday how school was, what’d you do at recess, do you have homework - what is it, etc. Some are more forthcoming than others about their day to day but they get used to your interest and you learn their moods & when things are going good or bad...basically you know what’s going on in their lives. Also, don’t let your kids spend 90% of their time with other kids even if that’s what they want. If you want to have a relationship with them & raise them with your morals & values then they have to be around you & family. You’re the parent - you determine their upbringing. Get advice, do research - but you should be the expert on your child.
I would think damaging in that it impedes personal responsibility and internal locus of control.
Could it be that so many people are deeply lonely? Which is what pushes them towards therapist?
:)
Audible credit used for pre-order! Thanks, and you sound great. The tea paid off!
:)
Am in awe that you recorded in the same studio as Stevie Nicks! 🎶
So was I!
I’m looking forward to reading this, but now I’m seriously considering buying the audiobook instead!
Can’t wait to read it!
So excited!!
You go girl!!
I preordered it on Amazon a week ago. I can’t wait to read it. I loved Irreversible Damage and gave it to so many friends
❤️❤️❤️
Nice and congratulations. I think your voice will add more value and worth to your book.
I have already pre-purchased my copy.
I'm all pre-ordered up. Can't wait!
Going mad that I'm still unable to preorder in Australia!
I'm not a therapist but I am a life coach and had a recent client say she was ready to stop sessions because, "I feel a little like Dorothy realizing I had the power all along." I think this should always be the goal--to help the client recognize the answer isn't "out there" but to encourage that when resourcing oneself, ideally you'll find supports that strengthen your trust in yourself and your capacity to navigate even these wild and destabilizing times we live in. We've been conditioned to "outsource" our decision-making to the "experts" and I believe this is especially insidious when it comes to parenting because of what it communicates to our children. I totally see how we got here, and have only compassion for parents who feel ill equipped to deal with the problems of today's adolescence. Parents are also products of this messaging that we're all at least a little bit broken.
Thanks for shedding light on the fact that it is the system that is broken, not the people!
LOVE this. I will read AND listen to your important next book. As a therapist myself, I can say that my profession seriously needs to be challenged these days.
I am so excited to read your new book. After experiencing the loss of a beloved therapist due to differing opinions on “gender ideology” and the medicalization of children’s distress, I began to understand that as institutions we once trusted fall to various ideologies, it is imperative we learn to trust ourselves while developing skills and inner wisdom. I recently read Emerson’s essay, Self Reliance, and found it very inspiring for our current times as we move away from the “specialist” toward a more grounded and wholistic approach toward solving life’s challenges.